The Art of Spam

Spamusement is a website that proudly presents "Poorly-drawn cartoons inspired by actual spam subject lines!".

Take a glimpse at some of the work entitled
"THERE WILL BE NO EXTENSION OF DATE" ,
and
"Don`t miss Neil Diamond",
or from the sublime
"Erection tests start May 27th"
to the inspired
"Swiss pharmacy"

plenty here to help you see the funny side of spam



Spamusement

Online file sharers 'buy more music'

Computer-literate music fans who illegally share tracks over the internet also spend four and a half times as much on digital music as those who do not, according to research published today.

read on here

ICIGSITBOTH

Put the new " ICIGSITBOTH - In Case I Get Shot In The Back Of The Head " number in your phone

Eight out of ten people aren't carrying information that would help if they were accidentally or mistakenly shot in the back of the head.
Storing next-of-kin details in your mobile phone can assist the emergency services if you're unable to tell them who to contact .

Simply use your mobile's phone book to store the name and number of someone who should be contacted if you happen to be shot in the back of the head - but add the letters ICIGSITBOTH in front of their name.

High brow / Low brow

Ok, Two very different but entertaining time wasters/online activities.

The first one probably couldn`t get any higher browed.
it goes by the name of "Planarity" and would be well placed in a mensa exam.
have a go here

If the instructions baffle you, then i`m sure you aint alone.
You gotta worry about people who use the word "vertices".
Any way move the dots so the black lines dont cross.

The second one is a little less taxing.
Its the now famous "south park studio" in which you can create your own south park characters or give yourself a south park make over

click her to have a go

In the news

Foul-Mouthed Parrot is a social embarrassment!


Read on here

Can i get an amen ?

A critical analysis of probably the most widely sampled drum break in electronica`s history.

From NWA to the backbone beat of drum and bass to Squarepusher to Jeep adverts and beyond.
This documentary charts the path of 6 seconds of pure soul rhythm taken from the Winston`s 1969 b-side amen brother.

And questions the legality of ownership, copyright and its relationship with cultural expression.

an i get an amen ? by Nate Harrison

Terrorist attack survivor

An anti-hysterical tale of one guy`s ordeal of the liverpool street tube bombing.

This is worth reading

On the moon

From the makers of Weebl and Bob comes some more cartoons, these based on some odd characters that inhabit the moon.


have a giggle here :-

Part One

THAT'S HOW IT IS

THAT'S HOW IT IS
THE FINAL SESSION

MONDAY 25TH JULY
BAR RUMBA, SHAFTESBURY AVE
LONDON W1

DJs
GILLES PETERSON
RAW DEAL
KEV BEADLE

ADMISSION - £5


harsh, many a good night to be had there. end of an era i s`pose

Abstract Website Du Jour

The Non Exciting, Non adventures of....

HAN and CHEWIE

and Chewie gets all the best lines

Google Earth Update

Just to update you Google Earth`ers

I found this forum Google Earth Community

Now these guys take it to another level altogether.

If your after links to the seven great wonders of the world. then browse this and download from the blue link ' open placemark'

Also ( and this is the next level shit ), if you want to see, and i quote " a MAN throwing STICK to DOG --highest resolution!" you can also find it within these forums.



Apparently the man ( and dog )in question have been identified.

oh what the hell have this link on me.


Stop the press, Citixen ( of ninjatune forum fame ), has put together a database of google earth locations, for you to add to or take from, in easy copy and paste format and that can be found here

Google Moon

What can i say ?

you can zoom right in to check out the actual moon surface.


Google moon

Robbie Williams to release reggae album !

Oh yes my friends. After 'mastering' Numanesque electro-pop with chart topper Radio, & putting Sinatra to shame with 'Swing..', the Robster has made an album in a lilting reggae stylee.

Say those "lucky" few who've heard it, "It sounds very much like early Bob Marley."

& no, I'm not making this up.

Hope he bootpolishes his face & grows dreads to cap the illusion.

It was in the SUN so it must be true

The "You Daft Bastard Award " Goes to ..

Chicago man steals squad car to get to work


Hands down mate, you win

The David Hasslehoff Soap Dispenser

Ok . so the link went down for a bit , but guess whos back ?.



I shit you not !

also check out other Hoff related belly laughs by the freaks at
Goat People Anonymous

Danny Way jumps the great wall of China

Yeah and he makes it.

serious looking ramp too.

click for video clip

bloody nutter

Were not afraid

There is a reason that i haven`t said anything about the recent attacks on London.

It strikes very close to home.
Even though i have been living in Canada now for quite some time, the memories of four wonderful years spent living within spitting distance from Kings Cross are still very vivid in my mind.
I used the Picadily line from Kings Cross every day,
I`ve sat on busses bound for Russel Square more times than i can remember.
My wife and i have stayed in hotels on Upper Woburn Place.

DON`T GO FUCKING WITH MY `HOOD



WERE NOT AFRAID

In the news today

The Canadian distributors of the new Harry Potter book secured a gag order preventing plot leaks after a "small number" of copies were mistakenly sold.


Read on at bbc news here

Inane Game du Jour

Mini Golf for the mindless mouse potatoes amongst us.

Play Here

my best round so far is 32.

Todays Recipe

Electric Sausage

Watch and learn

Google earth

This is rapidly turning into my lastest addiction, bumper ball is still up there tho` .

I downloaded this the other day and have been "spying " on people ever since. One of my work mates tells me that this has been around for ages , so excuse me if its old and your already bored of it.

Its a personal version of google maps and satellite imagery of the earth , in Google earth you can put place markers on any important locations ie, your home , your work ,your nearest branch of vera burger, dogtown, the peoples republic of kitsilano, tour d`argent , south bronx , where ever really. and then zoom in to these places from space , or go on a sight seeing trip. go knock your self out.

Download Here

Army Surplus

For those of you who know me quite well, you will be aware of my penchant for combat/cargo trousers/pants.

This, i would like to point out, has nothing what so ever to do with any strange military training that you think i may have been on.
Or, for that matter, any fixation with armed combat on my behalf, which is yet to manifest itself.

They just go well with black, my favoured colour of T shirts and hoodies.
I also like having loads of pockets in which to lose my keys in.

But after seeing these garments, i can feel a necessary purchase coming on.


Fashion Tips

Quite apt on the 4th july don`tya think ? or is it chewbacca`s hippy years

Tom Cruise tries to kill Oprah Winfrey

After relentless questioning about Scientology, Tom Cruise can not take it anymore and attacks Oprah Winfrey.
linkage

Cool illusion

If you continue to focus on the cross in the center of the image you will notice that the violet circles will soon disappear completely and you will see only the green spot (which is actually violet)

have a look here

but don`t go blaming me if you can`t see for shit after

The Truth About Lions and Midgets

Oh yet another internet hoax , and i`ll be damned if it wasn`t a good one too.

Now where can i get some of those BBC web templates from ?

hmmm Linkage

The Euphemism Generator

Ever needed to find phrases like
"I feel like tainting the wee rubber ferret."
or
" They found him naked in the alley behind the bar,burning the object."
or
" Instead, she spent the night alone, filing the stainless steel slug".

Even if you don`t its hours of fun on The Euphemism Generator

Now thats art

Three abstract paintings by a chimpanzee named Congo have been sold for £12,000

read on

Do you know what time it is ?

Well do you ?

when a man loves a JCB

This Happens

The Real Deal

Now i`m sure y`all seen Kitten War, if not scroll down you`ll find it, hey i don`t do links for cats anymore ok !.

But This one , this one is the real deal, ladies and gentleman i give you the fabulous , the awesome Puppy War

now don`t forget to vote !


* howls at the moon *

Chocolate Elton

A Madam Tussauds lifesize Reginald 'Elton John' Dwight sculpted entirely out of milk chocolate.

With a grinning David Furnish sliding up beside it, eager to nosh the lot.

Chocolate Elton

sorry i aint been posting for a bit

i`ve just had a big week.
more details about that soon.

any way

A restaurant has been forced to remove a dish containing squirrel meat from its menu after bomb threats, says the Telegraph. The Hadley Bowling Green Inn , which started offering the squirrel terrine four months ago, has received malicious phone calls and threats against staff from animal rights activist, as well as emails from disgusted customers.


that`ll learn `em .

Virtual Drum Kit

oh my !






Hours of fun for all the family

finally a cook book worth reading

You know what ?

I get so bored of all these " cook books " that are all about the photos of some egomaniacs food porn.
Put them on your coffee table when your freaky mates come round so you can appear to be almost cultured in the ways of the culinary arts .


Bollocks to the lot of you !

Do your selves a favour


Read this instead

that `ll sort you out .


hmmmm

Way hay

Just got one of ...


these bad boys

* sings * ♪♪ " i can see clearly now the old monitors gone . i can see all the emails in my path" ♪♪

Amazing Audio Tools

For all of you who dabble in sound engineering and home audio production.

These new plug-ins are not to be missed.



* cough *

Linkage

Bad Joke Du Jour

A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks. The first is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show the others who's boss, he beats it to death with a spade. Realizing his employer won't be best pleased he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.

Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he is attacked by the chimps who pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a spade, killing them both. What can he do? Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything.

He moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American Bees. As soon as he starts he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and throws them into the lion's cage - because lions eat anything.

Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another lion and says, "What's the food like here?"

The other lions say, "Absolutely brilliant. Today we had fish and chimps with mushy bees."

Public Enemy

Arn`t Public Enemy wonderful.
(oh yes they are ),

Well i`m a big fan anyway
I remember first hearing PE in a record shop circa 1987 , the delightfully entitled " my uzi weights a ton ".
and my very first gig that i went to was one of their`s a year later.

These days i would like to do a tribute act in the style of a Las Vagas lounge crooner , singing some of Chuck D`s more famous works like :- anti nigger machine , burn holywood burn , and night of the living bassheads.
i would be available for christnings and bar mitzvahs .

Or maybe i should open a bakery, i would call it " welcome to the terra dome "

Any way

Some guy has done a tribute website the some rare / live mp3`s for your downloading pleasure




Have a look here

NOOOOOOOO!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Crying While Eating

Funnily enough i`ve never considered this a dining style that i would favour.
Now,i have consumed some real delights, but having said that there has been some pretty shocking meals along the way .
None have made me hysterically upset thou`


Apparently this phenomenon has become the lastest internet cult, check the link below for more details.



cryingwhileeating.com

Where'd the cheese go?

I DON' KNOW

Dub Selector

This site combines the wonderfull worlds of cricket and dub styles,

click on a track,( the third one really does it for me ) choose a loop, then play with the mildly cricket related graphics to make your own dub version.

BO

an`ting .

shame there aint a sample of richie beno talking so you can mix that in too, but hay i`m always on the want .


click here BO

Power to the Cabbages

Ever needed a Cabbage converter ?

well if you do i have the very thing right here.

The page that turns you into a cabbage

egullet

I love winding the people up on egullet, egullet for those who dont know is a worldwide cooking/restaurant/foodie forum, they are by far the cutest bunch of nieve pricks that i have ever encountered.

I very occasionl post in the vancouver forum, and recently i had a post deleted from a thread intitled " Truth be told: Where've you eaten lately? ",
as i contained the following line " hmmmmmmmm i love eating out eh "

the following is a message from some bald guy who gets very wound up about those very words

" Transfattyacid,

I've just deleted your re-post.

The issue with your post is the "eating out" line - I think that's pretty obvious by now. Had this recent post been your first post, I may have let it go. But as this is your second post, with the same message I asked you to remove the first time, the end result is the same.

I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt here. I may not have explained myself well last PM. The choice is yours.

Please PM me if you need any clarification.

Thanks,

Arne


QUOTE
Phnom Penh

me and the missis had dinner here last week , after loads of hype from my work mates and seeing that you lot kinda like the place too , i thought we`d give it a go .

i think i must be missing the point . i found it pretty pedestrian . maybe we didn`t order the right stuff , if thats the case then whats it doing on the menu. and the service , well gee i thought we must have insulted them somehow to achieve the level that we recieved .

but having said that we did order a plate of anchovy beef on my work mates instructions, which i would discribe as a medium light to the meal .

the anchovy beef did end up providing the nights entertainment tho` . after the server tried to put us off ordering it . but it proved too much for wifee as she kinda stopped eating after a few tastes. i inquired as to why? as i was enjoying the raw beef that had been rendered a pale pink from lime juice and pounded with anchovy fillets. and cut to flat and fleshy strips. " i`ll tell you later " she replied .

Ubergeek keyboard

fancy a keyboard with NO markings on the keys being a good thing ??

well this one is supposed to inprove your typing hmmmmmm.


linkage

R2D2 must be a guy

The bleeping midget robot shows Luke and Obi Wan the wrong message.


take a look here

The Marijuana Conspiracy

The words "Marijuana" & "Conspiracy" go hand in hand.
Smoke some marijuana and pretty soon you end up talking about some conspiracy theory maaan.

but aside from that stereotypical analogy there does seem to be a worthy story behind this, read from the page linked below, to find out about the reasons behind marijuana`s illegality


The Marijuana Conspiracy

Latest Addiction

It has no caffeine content, nor does it resemble a plate of eggs benedict what so ever.

But it is fun to play, have a go here , football / bumper car crossbreed of a game

Kitten war

Shame this site aint what you might be thinking , theres no uzi automatic tooting kitties to be found, which was a dissapointment to me.

This is altogether more tranquil, and awwwww inspiring
Kitten War

The world in statistics

Genuinely interesting page that gives a running
counter on all the important world statistics:





click here


oh and don`t get paranoid

Dog Powered Scooters

go figure ?

Linkage

RingTones

In the good ol`days, the reason for phone`s "ringing" was so you could here the damn thing from any where in the house. i`ve never really understood why cell / mobile phones should also have to ring. as they are by definition always close to you and, with all the noise pollution in the world these days why add more to the cacophony ?. In the light of what humankind is capable of, can`t we figure out some thing less annoying than the RINGTONE!.

how did this happen ?
why as an evolved civilization do why need the ringtone ?

if you share my views on this matter you will find this link very special indeed. if you dont then fuck you, you need to know how annoying they are to millions of people



Fucking Ringtone

This summers must have item is ...

One of these bad boys



check `em out

Pot Noodle makes you impotent

No. It`s the lager ! .

Pot Noodle, for those of you who remain blissfully unaware of this English delicacy, is probably the single most disgusting thing you can ever dream of having to eat. It`s normally consumed by lager fuelled students and those who simply don`t know any better.

British tv adverts, for those of you who arn`t bombarded with them daily, are very funny.

take a look at this precious clip HERE

Really Crap Joke

Count Dracula is out "on the pull" in Glasgow.

He spends the night drinking Bloody Marys in various clubs and biting on
unsuspecting women's necks.

He is heading for home, wandering along Argyle street sometime before
sunrise.

Suddenly he is hit on the back of the head. He looks round and sees
nothing. He looks down and sees a small sausage roll. Mmm, he thinks.
What's going on here.

A few yards further on and ........Bang ! He's smacked on the back of the
head again! He whirls round as quick as he can - nothing. Again he looks
down and there is a small triangular sandwich lying on the ground. How
odd!

A few yards further along the street and........Crash! He's smacked on the
back of the head again!! He whirls round as quick as he can - nothing.
He's getting really angry now. Again he looks down and there is a cocktail
sausage lying on the ground.

He stands and peers into the darkness of the night. Nothing.

He walks a few yards further on when he gets a tap on the shoulder.

With a swirl of his cape and a cloud of mist he turns as fast as he can.
He feels a sharp pain in his heart. He falls to the ground clutching his
chest, which is punctured by a small cocktail stick laden with a chunk of
cheese and a pickled onion.

On the ground dying, he looks up and sees an attractive young female. With
his dying breath he gasps, "Who the hell are you ?"





"Hi, I'm BUFFET, the vampire slayer !"

Star Wars merchandise

I think it got out of hand years ago, but check this one out.
as quirky as your gonna get.

Bacon Bandages

Oh my, these are kinda surreal. but strangely desirable , especially to the cooks amongst us

take a look here

ill thought out company names

i`ll admit this is very juvenile but i found this very funny,

ARCELIK

KOC HOLDING GROUP

ASS TRANSPORT

WTF PROPERTY

Japanese robo-cat

Remember the rubbish animatronic cat in
Sabrina the Teenage Witch? Well, the one in
this advert is from Japan, even less life-
like and a lot more sinister.

Creepy Pet Video

you will need quicktime for this one

Squirrel nutter

Demented Dolly Parton-lookalike Kelly Foxton
has an unhealthy relationship
with her pet squirrel "Sugar Bush". She dresses
him up in all kinds of stupid outfits - like
Beatrix Potter for white trash. What makes
this site especially disturbing is the stab
at topicality, with tributes to 911, the
war in Iraq and Tsunami victims.
take a look

Election Results

Its kinda weird living abroad when there is a general election back home. Not that it makes me feel disenfranchised, i leave that to important stuff like Muller fruit corners and Marks and Spencer underwear.
The smart people amongst you could be able to tell that i`m not that bothered about politics. I couldn`t even tell you the name of Tony Blair`s opponent, this time or 2000-and-whatevers.
Who ever it was try again next time. ( like they need me for encouragement )

btw, 62% turn out in my home towns constituency, maybe there`s more of us that have *$#@ed off than i thought, or equally as blasé about which utterly dull guy ru(i)ns the country.

What is cool about elections is the graphics and stuff that let you know which areas have all the toffs, fence sitters and lefties.
like this one
Not that i let colours rule my life but, i used to work in the blue and live in the red, purely by chance ( and economics ).

Music Videos

i am always left kinda confused about music vid`s , i`ve never been a big one for watching telly too much and, err well music is for listening right ?

Ok, so there has to be a few exceptions to the rule here UNCLE`S - "Rabbit in your Headlights", and some of the SQUAREPUSHER / APHEX TWIN videos have added more to the experience than some canny visuals, and i ve just seen the GORILLAS - " Clint Eastwood" vid and that was kinda cool .
But to be honest i`m sure most vids are a vehicle for shifting product as opposed to art embellishments in their own right.

anyway i found this Blog and if your into your vids then its worth checking out.

Crap joke

I was in a pub yesterday and the cigarette machine
said "You smell and you're ugly"

Then I heard a voice coming from a nearby plate
of peanuts saying "You're a very handsome young man"

Turns out the cigarette machine was out of order
and the nuts were complimentary.

Geek site du jour

Ever wanted to know who has sampled who ?.

Well this is your site. with a handy " View by sampling artist" button, (bottom left under the site counter), which lets you browse your favourite artiste to find out who they have been ripping off.

Pretty soon you are sure to hear " goddamn some one owes me money i was correct that Tribe Called Quest used the fabulous "hard times "- Baby Huey in the remix of `can i kick it ?`" in conversations near you

www.the-breaks.com

You might not be a trekkie , but ...

..if listening to William Shatner singing "lucy in the sky with diamonds" fries your bacon then check this page out

Learn to disco

Why don`t you get down and learn some damn disco moves you lazy bunch of geeks



learn disco


this file is big so it may take some time to run ,

Quote of the day

"Religious war is killing people for having different imaginary friends" shivo







nuff said

More Breakdancin`

i love watching breakdancing, plain and simple.





Just watch this

The Corporation

Before i say more , or indeed to much on this one, i feel the need for a mindlessly dull disclaimer , for i`m no hippy people , not in the slightest, i will go on record as having never hugged a tree, ever.

As some of you may be familiar with a past trait of mine as being a label whore ( yes past trait, good people as i have been finding it all tirelessly pointless in my married 30 something incarnation ), a wandering billboard for others has been getting very `92 for me in recent years.

But , having said that the pursuit of profit, both personal and professional has had a strong hold on my work ethic for the last 17 years. I must also say that after watching "The Corporation", i`m kinda envious of my lovely wife as she has a blossoming career within the non-profit sector.

I`m also struggling with my ideals of ambition and prosperity for the wife and i, as "The Corporation" turns the high street on its head, and about time too.

does wanting a new flat screen monitor make me a bad guy ?

and i find myself wishing that i didn`t crave starbuck`s lattes so damn much , and there was a convenient alternative but hey thats another issue .

but i`m just a cook , right ? . one that has been favouring independent business as an employer.


anyway enough of my hang ups go watch the damn film for your selves, and a big thank you to the great fava bean philosopher himself for recommending this as essential viewing , cheers GB

www.thecorporation.com

Guys , this is an outrage to our civil liberties

" A Spanish designer has come up with what could be the perfect solution for the woman who feels frustrated that she has to do all the house chores."


Read on

Arse/Face Soap

two sided soap , with subtitles for the hard of thinking


you need to have a wash look no further

bad joke du jour

At Heathrow Airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor, and a graphical calculator. Authorities believe he is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.
He is being charged with carrying weapons of maths instruction.



i`ll get my coat

Guess-the-google

the google inspired image guessing game

stop rolling your eyes at the back and pay attention. you could learn something here

hmmmmmmm not really !

any way play to your hearts content Here

my top score is a whopping 369 , how about that then eh ?

This year's race-baiting ice cream product is...

.....Sweden's "Nogger Black," ice cream


have a look here

"Nogger" is apparently an existing ice cream product, an ice cream bar previously available in vanilla encased in chocolate, with a nougat center. Nogger Black substitutes toffee for the nougat and encases the vanilla ice cream in "crispy salty licorice." Which, in addition to everything else, sounds a lot less appetizing. (Northern European cuisine suffers from a regrettable impulse to make everything taste like herring.) Licorice is black, hence the dubiously entitled "Nogger Black."

Sweden's Centre Against Racism points out that the logo is rendered graffiti-style, which would seem to suggest that the association with black urban culture is deliberate. My guess is that GB Glace thought it was being "edgy" by emulating black hipsters who use the N word (but who certainly wouldn't condone its enunciation by any pale-skinned Swede). The company comes close to admitting this. "Even if the word 'black' in the logo is inspired by graffiti, we don't see anything wrong with that, nor about alluding to black culture or hip-hop," a GB Glace spokeswoman told Reuters. Not even when it's paired with a word that's one letter away from the most toxic racial epithet in the English language? "We certainly had no intention that the name, 'Nogger', would be associated with any negative word." This statement makes me want to summon a wide-eyed, rage-shaken, and magnificently dignified Sidney Poitier, circa 1966, to answer, "The word ... is Noggro!"

Emails more damaging than cannabis

* spits tea out *

gosh !

err what if your doing both ?


any way heres the story

Check out the Pork pie

adventures of a pork pie maker










Oh Yeah

Wanna play god ?

I often do .

Here`s the next best thing. Traffic Control 2.

In this nifty little game you control the traffic lights in a small but perfectly formed town. you score points every time a vehicle crosses the town, its that simple .( which makes it ideal for some thing slightly taxing to do when your baked )

Surreal Website

one of the funniest and most surreal pages i`ve seen for a bit .




www.mailorderchickens.org

In the Chicago Tribune

Virgin mary spotted in chicago by religous freaks

" Obdulia Delgado turned toward the on ramp of the Kennedy Expressway when she saw something in the middle of traffic that made her stop."


read on

Ferrari Formula 1 Team change

The Ferrari Formula 1 Team fired their entire pit crew yesterday.
The announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the UK Government's Youth Opportunity scheme and employ people from Glasgow.

The decision to hire them was brought on by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from the Glasgow area were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari's existing crew can only do it in 8 seconds with millions of euros worth of high tech equipment.

Tony Blair went on record as saying this was a bold move by the Ferrari management, which demonstrated the international recognition of the UK under New Labour.

As most races are won and lost in the pits, Ferrari now have an advantage over every team. However, Ferrari may have got more than they bargained for...At the crew's first practice session, the Glasgow pit crew successfully changed the tyres in under 6 seconds, and then within another 12 seconds they had re-sprayed, re-badged, and sold the vehicle to the McLaren team for 8 bottles of Stella, a kilo of speed and some photos of Coulthard's bird in the shower

Obiwan kenobi is at the used car dealers

this is hilarious

watch it HERE










i haven`t laughed this hard since mosh girl

Ooow if i had one of these to get to work

gee this looks pretty fast.


hmm thats an understatement

Watch a Video here

i found this restaurant review online

"My partner and I went to this restaurant last night having heard great reviews. In all, the food and service were excellent. However, there were two great exceptions that overshadowed the entire evening. Firstly, the chef decided to take out his own sodium deficiency out on my poor rack of beef ribs. There was enough encrusted salt to melt an ice rink. Secondly, and by far the worst still, we were unfortunate enough to be sat next to a table of six thirty-something professionals revellers, who thought it would be funny to scream, throw food and then draw beards and moustaches on each others faces with a burnt wine cork, impersonating horrid world dictators and Craig David. One of the revellers then catapulted himself to my table and asked if he could draw a monobrow and moustache across my face. Although I fervently refused, he went ahead anyway, and I was left looking ridiculous. I was shocked and appauled, especially when the whole restaurant including my partner (now ex.) also laughed. Yet to my astonishment, when I complained, the waitress said to me "chill out man, can't you see they're having fun". Today, I remain so shocked and upset, that I have taken a day off."

the place in question is
The Anchor & Hope
36 The Cut, London, SE1 8LP

and a link

Mr Picasso head

Cool site where you can create your own picasso painting.

have a go here

here`s one i did

Arrest call for American Pie star

after allegedly threatening to molest a dog.

Read on

Norwegian rappers against bush

yeah it does sound a bit obscure, but " Gatas Parlament " the rappers in question have had their song " kill him now! " banned all over the globe.

check out the video HERE before it`s censored.

oh there`s english subtitles , so you can put the phase book away.

Customer Reviews

One of the funniest reviews i`ve read, and what an album to choose.

must be the best laff of the day
here

For all you lazy bastards

That couldn`t be arsed to run the London marathon last weekend, its ok you can buy one of
THESE
and blag it !

Derail`s off message mix

This is one of my favourite mixes gathered from the depths of the web.

Repleat with samples from Monty Pythons "the meaning of life", Cornelius` " Typewriter Lesson " and Hell Interface`s fabulous "The Story of Xentrix".

tracklist is as follows :-

00:00 DJ Food - Inosan
03:00 DJ Krush - Kemuri
04:55 Edan - Just Listen
06:30 Up, Bustle and Out - Revolutionary Woman of the Windmill Part 1 (Low Profile Mix)
08:15 DJ Shadow - The Number Song (Cut Chemist Remix)
10:25 Serge Gainsbourg - Requiem Pour Un C...
12:18 Kaminsky Experience - Discovery / Hell Interface - The Story of Xentrix
13:22 DJ Hype - Dead A's / Roots Manuva and Chali 2na - Join The Dots (acapella) / Kettel - Centrecourt
16:53 Marlena Shaw - California Soul
18:24 Squarepusher - Curve 1
19:10 Sage Francis and Danger Mouse - Garden Gnomes
21:36 Mike Ladd - No.1 st.
23:02 DJ Vadim and Moshun Man - The Terrorist (acapella) / Prefuse 73 - Eve of Dextruxt
26:14 Blockhead - Insomniac Olympics / Mos Def - Mathematics (acapella)
29:47 Killer Tracks - Fire and Incense Breaks / Sabres of Paradise - Planet D (Portishead Remix) / Sean Gullette & Clint Mansell - Excerpts from the Motion Picture Pi
32:05 Req - Love Ache
32:32 Cornelius - Typewriter Lesson / Up, Bustle and Out - Revolutionary Woman of the Windmill Part 1 (Subterfuge Mix)
35:43 Psychedelic Scratch Bastards - Dirt Breaks Vol. 1 / Missy 'Misdemeanour' Elliott - The Rain
37:58 DJ Food - Bass City Roller
39:05 Cody Chesnutt - Serve This Royalty
42:50 Jimi Tenor - Hypnotic Drugstore
44:43 The Twilight Singers - Clyde
47:30 Cassetteboy - God Bless America / Chris Bowden - Hero
51:23 Nuyorican Soul - I Am The Black Gold of the Sun (4 Hero Remix)
53:35 Klute - We Believe / 4 Hero - Planetaria (Theme from a Dream)
56:07 Nitin Sawnhey - Breathing Light
59:19 Lamb - Gorecki (Global Communications Remix)
61:12 Led Zeppelin - Whole Lotta Love
63:52 Dennis Coffey and the Detroit Guitar Band - A Whole Lot Of Love
64:33 Lalo Schiffrin - Sampans
65:49 The Avalanches - Etoh
67:07 Dual Tone - Dub Radiation
69:23 Kruder & Dorfmeister - Shakatakadoodub
72:01 Hab - Pan (Journeyman Remix)
74:55 Mogwai - Two Rights Make One Wrong



download here and enjoy

picturesofwalls.com

this is a fascinating site with captivating images of 'graffiti' in the simplest sense of the word.
From the banal to the thought provoking.

quite brilliant

linkage

bewarned schoolkids are not allowed in, as this site contains some swear words.

AquaSkipper!

"It's better than a boat. It's better than a jet ski. Now you can fly above the water on the AquaSkipper!" or so they say.

read all about it here

or

watch a video of it in action here kinda funny when the guy bails at the end

The state of Idaho Passes the " dynamite " bill !

this apparently is for real and kinda crazy, in an Napoleon Dynamite way.

have a look for yourself HERE

RJD2 - 1976 Video

It's unusual use of composited still images ( photographs taken in Cuba, circa 1970s ) to create strangley three-dimensional scenes that shift and reform while you watch.

Watch Here

Darth Vader Voice Changer Mask

I WANT ONE

must resist........ childish toys .....must resist

Todays abstract website is.....

dontshootthecat.com


"I don't think Wisconsin should become known as a state where we shoot cats," said Doyle, a Democrat who neither hunts nor owns a cat.

The Worlds First inflatable pub

better belive it
check the website

Tyson the Skateboarding Dog

this poooch is amazing.

take a look at the new footage here

and the slowmo skills here

Junior Delgado passes on

the Jamaican roots singer dies

read on here

Lewd Tintin shocks Belgium

"Belgian police have seized a cache of forgeries of a Tintin adventure book depicting the cartoon hero and his dog Snowy on a "sex holiday" in Bangkok."

Read on Here

Molson Canadian

It's what to drink when you're chasing beaver.

watch this .